My Grandpa

February 24, 2011

My grandpa is gone. 


I remember being a little girl and loving going to my grandma & grandpa's house.  They lived in this cool townhouse that had an upstairs!  Grandpa always smiled so big when he saw me.  He had a candy drawer in his end-table and would tell me to go get a candy- sometimes he had peppermints, sometimes jellybeans, sometimes caramels. 

I remember when my grandma and grandpa lived in Alaska, he worked on the pipeline.  I thought it was so mysterious and exciting! 

I remember going to Apache Lake as a young girl and pre-teen.  Grandpa would take us out on his boat for hours at a time cruising from one end of the lake to the other.  Sometimes just boating and feeling the warm wind on our faces, sometimes pulling us on tubes or skis.  He had so much patience!  I remember when he taught me to ski.  I was probably about 12 before I was brave enough!  He must have gone around 20 times before I finally popped up and stayed on the skis!  I remember the first time when I finally got up on the skis and looked and saw him with both arms up in the air cheering for me!  He was so happy, his whole face lit up!  When we were done skiing, he would toss out the big yellow surfboard and tow us in.  We would go fishing off the dock at the lake.  I remember watching him skin a trout and eat it!

I remember playing many, many, many games of 6 handed Canasta with him!  I hated to "give away the pot" when he was my partner!

I remember him drinking black coffee- and not liking the "fancy stuff" (flavored coffees).

I remember how he wore plaid shirts.

 I remember his beautiful smile and the way his eyes would sparkle when he laughed. 

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This is something I wrote one night when I stayed with him in hospice:

"As I sit here in this dimly lit room watching my Grandpa, I can't help but reflect on life and this journey of dying.  When Judy called me and told me he was in the ER, I never would have thought we would be sitting here 10 days later in Hospice.

 I watch him breath.  He is so still and calm.  Peaceful.  His eyes are glassy and I don't think he sees me anymore. His skin is a chalky color and his cheeks are sunken.  But every now and then he will stir and I go to him, stroke his arm, sit next to him and hold his hand.  I tell him 'It's okay grandpa, it's Bethie, I am here.  I am right here with you.'  He settles down like he hears me and knows that I am watching over him and he is not alone. I give him a swab soaked in water and he sucks on it vigorously until he drifts back off.

This is my 2nd night staying overnight with him.  I am so glad I can do this and can be here.  I wouldn't trade these few days for anything.  I am glad that he is not dying alone.  That he is peaceful and that the people who love him are here."

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We had Grandpa's Memorial Service at Palmcroft Church.  Then Chris and I hosted a meal/gathering after at our house.  Here are some pictures from his memorial service.

Grandma